Product Overview
When you need to show everyone who has the key to your heart, show them the Dumper's Speed Shop Keychain!
Use this to get out of traffic tickets! Just show to the cop, and wait for your apology! (Not recommended)
Does your wife wear a chastity belt? Not anymore, when you use the Dumper's Speed Shop Keychain! (also not recommended)
Is a group of bad people about to beat you up? Show them this! (super not recommended)
Are you three laps off the pace? Buy one of these badboys and you will TQ instantly! (probably not going to happen)
Need collateral for a loan? You can use this to buy whatever you want, repayment not needed! (also probably not going to happen)
This has been tested to attract more chicks than any cologne! (could happen.....nah)
9 out of 10 doctor's prescribe a Dumper's Speed Shop Keychain over all other keychains! (I've never actually asked, so it could be true!)
More valuable than crypto! (well, some of them I guess)
My lawyer says I have to stop now.....
